Day 1775. Finally a trip off Alcatraz

Update

Five years ago I was completing my MSc at Newcastle University and about to embark on the greatest adventure of my life.

Four years ago I was in Cambodia having travelled a torturous unpaved road from Surin to Siem Reap. However, the trip was worth it as the Angkor ruins were simply sublime.

Three years ago I was flitting between Taiwan and the Philippines. I was working as an English teacher - not because of any English proficiency but because I was the only westerner within 10 million Chinese people. I was seeing lovely little Zi Ting from Tainan.

Two years ago I had just getting rid of a Philippine Urinal Tract Infection in Penang before starting as a maths teacher in Trang in southern Thailand.

One year ago I was hanging around in Phuket waiting for my job at Satree school to start. I had driven five hours (from Trang via Ao Nang) with all my worldly possessions loaded on the back of my bike.

Now I have been in Phuket for 1 year and I am working at Headstartphuket International school teaching GCSE maths. I have just been to:

Ko Phi Phi

I finally managed to escape Phuket during my Easter break. Here we are leaving Rassada peir in Phuket Town headed for the idyllic Phi Phi Island (where Leonardo DiCaprio starred in The Beach):
As you walk onto the jetty you have to survive a swarm of touts:

We headed up a very steep path towards a viewpoint:

And here's Austrian Armin and I in one of the most beautiful locations on Earth. The Thai reads Joot Chom Wiew Goh Pee Pee Don:

We then proceeded to explore some lesser visited parts of the island. I had to dress like an Arab in the insane heat:

This is the unbelievably modern tsunami village built after the devastating 2004 destruction. It is at the top of a hard-to-climb hill:

Water shortages are a common theme here. Look at Phi Phi's vast reservoir:

Look at the standard of cabling here. These are telephone and electrical wires strung thoughtlessly through the jungle:

This is one of Phi Phi's power stations. You can see a diesel generator in front of a barrel of oil.

After trekking to Phi Phi's lesser visited parts (we didn't meet anyone out here) we had to stop for a water refill. In the shops on the island 0.5L = 15bt, here in the jungle 1.5L = 5bt. As a maths teacher I should be able to calculate which offers best value for money.

BOT BOT BOT BOT. This is the constant cry from the predators praying on gullible tourists. These are longtail boats with Ko Phi Phi Leh in the background. Pretty nice eh? I went snorkelling near here.

After getting drunk watching Citeh beat Manure in the FA Cup semi-final I had to be carted back to the jetty. As you can see my luggage was weighing me down:

Bikes

Armin and I went to Laem Panwa on Phuket Island to eat some Tom Yam Goong in an Isaan restaurant. The menu was Thai but the staff were surprised to discover I could read it all. Words I could read but couldn't understand Armin translated. He speaks great Thai but can't read so we make a good team. On the way there my bike passed 25000km. I had a bottle of cold Leo to celebrate.

Birds

This is Nui who works in Chalong. She's a canny lass but she's going home to Nakon Phanom soon.

Booze

This is a pic posted on facebook from my early days as a RN apprentice. Neil, Jez, Daz and myself enjoying a night out in Pompey. I have no idea why I'm wearing a suit?

Back-breaking labour

Our school has updated its website and they have included a profile of me here. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders as I try to guide these unfortunates through the numerical maze of maths. I have also taught some basic Geordie phrases - to say they were perplexed is an understatement. I showed them a clip of Oz on Aufweidershen Pet and even the English kids were querying which language he was speaking??? They wouldn't believe it was English??

In my homeroom class I have 17 students including: Thai, Russian, German, American, English, Australian, Italian, Pakistani, French, Irish and Korean. To think these kids will potentially leave school with knowledge of Geordie words and phrases warms my heart!

We start term 3 on Monday and I have failed miserably with my PGCE work. I didn't start the third assignment. Instead I got pissed and toured the Island. On parents evening I had to deal with two knobhead parents. This isn't too bad considering the amount of parents I spoke to. Suffice to say one was from the North American continent and the other was from somewhere on the Rhine, mmmmmmmmm?

Toon - the real United

United secured a draw against Manchester United on Tuesday night. We've reached 40pts and should have secured survival.

Lingo

kaijeow sai song fong = two egg omelet
heng/biak = dry/wet
mai dong jing jang ngai gor dai = don't take this relationship too seriously
tanakan tang bai nai = which way is the bank?
Wan nee wan sook, pom ja bai gin bia = today is Friday and I'm off to drink some booze.